Real friends don't let friend's letters go unanswered

Dear XXX - thank you for sharing the alarming news that Ms. Palin supports oil drilling and hunting mooses. I shall of course never ever vote for such a person and I intend to sell my rifles and contribute the proceeds to Mr. Obama as some small token of remorse.

Along those lines, and in view of your deep concern over global warming, I have decided that, rather than pay you back for the gasoline we consumed boating to Montauk this past week I will instead purchase a carbon offset from an Indian company that grows biomass for alternative energy projects. It will only cost me a few rupees but I'm sure that you'll agree that it's better to spend a few pennies saving our earth than encouraging the profligate use of our precious resources and the spewing of carbon out your 90-foot yacht's tailpipes.

Yours in peace, love and understanding,
Chris.