The Quality of Gossip is Certainly Strained
By Amanda Von Stuckle

Look: who was it who first reported a Kathy Lee sighting at CVS?. Moi! Now that Greenwich Post's gossip reporter has taken to staking out my snooping grounds and - big whoop - she says she saw that poor old former baseball player, Lee Mazzilli at the same place, buying Grecian Formula 101 or something. Look, bitch, I'll give you Valbella's but stay the F off my turf! CVS is mine, all mine.

Regis's house, by the way, is on the market for $5.4 million not, as a CVS clerk must have told you, $2.5. Of course, given that it's not selling, maybe that clerk is on to something. Does she wanna sell real estate on the side? It would mean a cut in pay,of course, but she would get free tours of our celebrities' homes.

Nothing to see here, move along, move along
Thanks to a blizzard of "investigative journalism" we now know far more about the personal life, past associations and financial records of "Joe the Plumber" than we do about the man he dared criticize, Barack Obama. Why this huge interest in a mid-western plumber and why the decision to devote an army of reporters to investigate him when that interest was lacking and the army too busy to investigate, say, Barack's sweetheart land deal with an indicted Chicago pol and "developer", or how, exactly, Bill Ayres set up Barak in politics?

Because none of that's news, or, worse, it's old news and it's time to Move On. Besides, Joe the Plumber has a tax lien against him! We found it and we want our Pulitzer, now!

The motto of these proud, fiercely independent graduates of Colombia's Journalism School: "We speak truth to power! We dig out news that must be told!"

And he did question the Anointed One's tax plan, after all.

We may get a break from all this nonsense - according to an impeccable source (the gossip columnist for our local weekly), "Greenwich resident and TV’s favorite judge, Judy Scheindlin, was seen parking her cream-colored convertible Bentley in front of Douglas Parfumerie on Greenwich Avenue last Thursday afternoon." That should serve to swing the media circus from the mid-west and out our way in a heartbeat. But if that's insufficient to do the trick, there's also this: "Riverside resident, NFL great and announcer Frank Gifford was recently spotted tooling around town in Greenwich in his light blue convertible."

I think I'm going to unleash our own Amanda Von Stuckle on that last story - What it's Worth deserves a Pulitzer, too.

As our Suzie says,
"And that’s all for now."

Ugly Betty

Bill Clark, who writes sporadically on his blog (I've tried to add an RSS feed, Bill so I'll be alerted to new postings) Greenwich Gossip took it upon himself to go down to Town Hall and demand a copy of the survey Greenwich conducted months ago on the performance of our schools. No wonder the authorities have tried to hide this thing: our Superintendent, Betty Sternberg, received dismal performance ratings from both parents and teachers alike. Sternberg's two-year contract expires this year. First Selectman Peter Tesei has suggested that we select the best principal we have in our schools and make that person the next Superintendent. That makes sense to me but regardless of who's chosen, can we really do any worse than Sternberg?

Freedom of the Press
Imagine that you had once worked as a real editor of a real newspaper, or that your father had founded a real newspaper and handed its reins over to you. Now imagine that you've ended your editing career with, or transformed your inheritance into, a light-weight vehicle for advertising and nothing more. Bummer, no?
With that in mind, I'm happy to announce that my former paper, The Greenwich Post, has bravely faced down the scorn and ire of its advertisers and will, beginning September 18th, begin running Susie Costaregni's gossip column, "The Dish", every week! The public be damned, we're going to print what must be told. Right on, guys.

Here's a taste of what the hard-hitting Dish will be serving up:

Greenwich residents Frank Gifford, the former NFL star and sports commentator, and Olympic gold medal swimmer Donna de Varona were seen having lunch at Valbella restaurant in Old Greenwich this past week; Regis Philbin and friends were spotted dining there Saturday, Jan. 20; and actor Jesse Bradford of "Swimfan" and "Flags of Our Fathers" fame ate there last week. And . . . at Valbella New York on West 13th Street, recent Golden Globe-winning actress and producer Salma Hayek of the popular sitcom "Ugly Betty" was seen having dinner.

And this:

Among the 300 friends, colleagues and dignitaries, including her favorite security guard, at the party were Randy Jones of the Village People; celebrity photographer James Edstrom; Fox News legal analyst Lis Wiehl and attorney Michael Sherman; MSNBC anchors Contessa Brewer, Alison Stewart and Chris Jansing; NBC anchor Carl Quintanilla; Lisa Bloom and Diane Dimond of Court TV; and actor Bobby Abid. Boyfriend and singer/songwriter Tomaczek Bednarek wrote a song for the occasion, "You Make the News."

Cosby isn't taking a break. This week, she hosted a two-hour radio show on Sirius satellite radio. She heads to her
alma mater, the University of South Carolina, next week to teach for a day. Then she travels to the Middle East,
where she will speak at a conference.

No need to worry about the future of this paper now, that's for sure.

Sucking up to Royalty
Okay, this is shooting fish in the barrel but ...
Grab onto your hats, my old paper,The Greenwich Post, has launched its new gossip column:

Scene ... Greenwich residents and talk show hosts Regis and Joy Philbin were seen dining at Valbella in Riverside last Saturday night. At a separate table was WWE chairman and Greenwich resident Vince McMahon and his wife, Linda. Also seen dining among the celebs was Greenwich Hospital president and CEO Frank Corvino. On a separate occasion, His Royal Highness Prince Moulay Rachid of Morocco and a bevy of young beauties were dining downstairs in the wine cellar while his three bodyguards waited for him upstairs.

Scene... Riverside residents and TV personalities Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford were seen having dinner at Figaro on Greenwich Avenue last week.

Aside from the fact that, if you want to see, meet and actually speak with Frank and Kathie Lee you can come to my church on any Sunday and do just that, instead of gazing longingly from afar as Frank masticates a lamb chop,is it really worth chopping down a tree to distribute this hard-hitting, must-have news? Does it enrich one's life to know that someone heard from someone else that Eric Clapton was on the same island (maybe even at the same time!) as that third party? What sort of self-respecting newspaper editor allows himself to be involved in this schlock?

It surely hasn't escaped the notice of the Greenwich Post that our town is suffering a bit of a rough spot in the ol' real estate market yet, to save printing costs, they've cut their last remaining real estate columnist to a bi-weekly schedule to make room for the doings of His Royal Highness Prince Moulay Rachid of Morocco. The columnist is no loss, unless you wanted to read the latest press release from the National Association of Realtors ("Everything is beeeoootiful, everything is fine ..." ) but still, how does this man look himself in the mirror?

I was the only paid columnist at the weekly advertiser (and they solved that problem) so the absence of real estate news can be attributed solely to the lack of funds to actually print a paper. Of course, if you remove all the content from your paper, there might - just might - be a connection with a declining readership, no matter how many copies you stuff, free, into mailboxes.

I'm not (particularly) bitter that I'm no longer associated with this drowning enterprise -I'm having fun being on line and I'm proud to be free. My former editor might try it himself.

The Cavalry has arrived!
Business is so hectic these days that I've had a hard time keeping up with my postings. So imagine my delight when Amanda Von Stuckle, Greenwich's top Realtor and speculative home builder, offered to join forces and provide her unique insight into the Greenwich housing market. Amanda grew up in Bedford but shopped on Greenwich Avenue, attended Rosemary Hall and Sweet Briar College, then returned to Greenwich to start up, in sequence, a biotech company, an internet provider of popcorn and pickles, and a dog walking service. After selling all three of those enterprises at an enormous profit in early 2000 Amanda went into commercial and residential real estate development here in town. She's a fast friend of Greenwich Post's new gossip columnist, Susie (in fact, they often tour the town together) so she knows everything about who's who, who's doing whom and what they're buying. We'll be hearing from Amanda on a regular basis but for now, here's an introductory interview.

For What it's Worth (FWIT): So, Amanda, tell us a little about yourself. Grew up in Bedford, and I see that you attended Rosemary Hall - that's impressive.
Amanda Von Stuckle (AVS) Oh, not that much so - it was post graduate - they have a program for people like me, kids who, I guess took a few too many hits on the ol' bong to really succeed in high school. They take you in after 12th grade, assign a smart student to take your exams and write your papers for a year and presto! You're off to college. Choate has the same program but they mostly limit it to basketball and hockey players who are needed on a college team. Rosemary just requires a rich daddy, and I had one of those.
FWIT: Hmmm. Do anything notable at Sweet Briar?
AVS: Drank.
FWIT: Okay, so what about this real estate thing - how'd you get into that?
AVS: I know everyone who counts in town, and I know what makes them tick. That's all I needed to land in real estate on both feet and start running. I sold $100 million my first year.
FWIT: That's amazing - so, what makes these people "tick", as you say.
AVS: Fear. Fear at losing what they have, fear of not getting what they want. Oh - and greed, of course. I play those emotions like Yehudi Menuhin and that's all I need, baby.
FWIT: That's all there is to it? Fear and greed?
AVS: For the people I deal with, sure.
FWIT: How's that working out these days?
AVS:(coughs) Not as well as before, frankly. I've got the fear thing working but right now, these chumps are afraid of losing the house they have, rather than the house they want. Thank God my commercial ventures are doing so well.
FWIT:You were dumped out of that Stamford redevelopment project, I understand.
AVS: That's a retrenchment, not a dumping. Now we're going to concentrate on building an office complex at Bruce Park.
FWIT: The town's going to let you pave the park?
AVS: Sure - once we agreed to leave a little playground for the cripples, we were in. Besides, we've got the Lowell Weiker precedent to guide us. Remember him? "I'm a Weiker Liker?" When he was First Selectman he sold the air rights over the railroad to his pal and campaign manager, Ashforth, blocked the view of Long Island Sound for everyone in town and there wasn't a peep. Ashforth paid $15,000 to the town, God knows how much to Weiker and faster than you can say. "Greenwich Plaza" it was done.
FWIT: You're not saying you've bribed Peter Tesei, surely.
AVS: Who's saying that? Not me.
FWIT: Why don't we leave it there for now, Amanda. We're really excited that you'll be posting on this blog and we can't wait for your thoughts on what's happening and what will happen in these turbulent times.
AVS: It's going to be fun. I'm off to Valbella! for lunch - there's been another Regis sighting - but I'll be back with news later.