Say, here's an idea!.
Secretary Paulson, admitting that his first, $750 billion plan didn't work and his second, nationalizing our banks, is drawing criticism from conservatives, has reached deep and come up with a third alternative (announced by Dick Cheney, who abandoned his usual mufti for the occasion): Replace capitalism with Islamic financial system

"The Western system has collapsed and we need a new, complete economic philosophy as well as spiritual strength," Cheney pointed out. "Under this plan, all riches would be ours; the Islamic nation has all or nearly all the oil, so if we take them over, we'll have an advantage and an economic philosophy that no one else has. Bombing starts in half an hour."